The Mutilator

By pick, by axe, by sword...by golly, I think we've got a winner!  In 1985, there were a slew of movies that came out that would go on to become classics by today's standards.  Some of these films include, but certainly are not limited to, "Back to the Future", "The Goonies", "Fright Night", "Re-Animator", and "The Breakfast Club" (<-- my personal all-time fave!).  However, looking back, there is one "classic" that unfortunately got lost in the shuffle, and to this day remains little-seen and relatively unknown.  This film, of course, is "The Mutilator".  Hacking it's way into theaters for a very brief run, under it's original title of "Fall Break", this movie was a low budget wonder work chock full of some very disgusting and incredibly well-done splatter F/X that rival the best I've seen in films of this caliber.  Let's begin with the plot...err, what little there is of it.  The movie begins with a hilariously "acted" portrayal of a young boy accidentally blowing a hole through his mother's stomach whilst attempting to clean daddy's very big hunting rifle.  Dad comes home, beats on the kid, kid runs away while daddy holds onto mommy's lifeless corpse.  The end.  Flash forward 15 years, and that little boy is now all grown up (& surprisingly well adjusted for having shot his mum) and ready to embark on a little road trip with 5 of his closest friends.  But wait?  Where will they go?  Cue phone call from dad asking son to close up their beach house for the coming Winter.  DING!  Looks like a vacation destination has just been achieved.  So the kids hop into the convertible and head to the shore amidst some stellar opening credits, complete with a totally rockin' original theme song entitled "Fall Break".  Now trust me, if you know what's good for you, this is the point where you will pick up your remote and fast forward to the movie.  Fast forward, or risk having this ditty stuck in your head for weeks to come.  In fact, I am not ashamed to admit this song has found a comfy little spot on my ipod in recent weeks.  I'm telling you, it's THAT GOOD!  Anyway, the kids get to the beach house and low and behold, someone is already there, waiting eagerly for their arrival so that they can begin methodically slicing and dicing their way through the group.  Usual fodder ensues - inane dialogue, cheesy acting, and an obligatory bad romance scene accompanied by retro elevator music.  What makes this flick stand out though, is as previously mentioned, the wonderfully over the top gore!  Sadistic and brutal in it's own right, it's a wonder this movie didn't get banned in multiple countries like many of it's predecessors.  The deaths include a man getting chopped in half (& then his top half axing the leg right off a cop!), a little boy with a nasty slashed throat courtesy of a battle axe, a boy who takes a chainsaw to the chest, and a girl who gets a ginormous hook through her hoo ha and out her belly!  Yep, you read that right.  Sick stuff, folks.  But if you're like me, then this is the only reason you're watching these flicks in the first place!  It obviously ain't for the award winning acting or mind altering plot arcs.  Buddy Cooper, the writer/director, sadly never went on to do anything else, save for some sound editing on a 1994 short.  After witnessing this epic splatterpiece, you will be left scratching your head as to why.  Code Red DVD had this on their list of upcoming releases, and even went so far as to finish all the extras for it, including a commentary with Mr. Cooper himself!  Sadly, Code Red DVD will be going out of business in early 2011, making it highly unlikely that any of this will come to light.  A shame to think that, much like the movie itself, the extras are now gonna fade into obscurity as well.  Sigh.  Perhaps someday, after I've made my millions, I will hunt down Mr. Cooper personally for commentary track part deux, and give this film it's just dessert!  In the meantime, I'll continue to keep it's legacy alive through internet pollution such as that which you have just finished reading.

Final Rating:  * * * * / * * * * *

Hide and Go Shriek

Close your eyes.  Count to ten.  And run to your local video store to seek out this movie!  "Hide and Go Shriek" is one of the last entries in the eighties slasher wave.  Directed by Skip Schoolnik, this film came slinking into theaters for a brief run in the fall of 1987.  Jealousy abounds as I sit here and think of the lucky few (& I do mean few) who actually got to see this one on the big screen.  Like, I am literally the shade of Linda Blair's bile right now.  Let me just say, they certainly don't make 'em like this anymore!  Without question my favorite of the eighties slasher craze, this movie serves as an endearing (sort of) little time capsule for a decade that could never be again.  Scrunched knee socks, bone head dialogue, and thanks to one Ms. Rebunkah Jones, some of the biggest hair to ever receive screen time all amalgamate to bring us a truly <insert adjective here> film experience.  I recently had the pleasure of exchanging words with Annette Sinclair, who plays Kim Downs in the movie, and she was kind enough to give me a little insight.  The movie was filmed in an abandoned warehouse in downtown L.A. in early summer of '87.  Filming took about 3 weeks, and post production was finished about a month later.  Towards the end of the movie, there is a wino outside the store whom the remaining survivors desperately try to call attention to (although this proves impossible, thanks to some shatter and sound proof windows that were recently installed, GASP!), and the actor portraying him is actually the screen writer, Michael Kelly.  Annette also did all the face makeup on the plaster cast of her head herself (*SPOILERS*) for the infamous elevator decapitation scene, this way it would best match her own makeup.  Yea, nothing groundbreaking here, but still!  Film buffs for me LIVE for these small tidbits of information on movies like these, where so little info is readily available.  Anyway, generic plot ensues as 8 teens decide to throw a graduation party in a furniture store that belongs to the father of one of the kids, although it seems like graduating and partying are the farthest things from their mind as they spend most of the flick hopping in and out of bed with each other.  What makes this one a cut above the rest though is the atmosphere.  The seemingly endless furniture store, complete with multiple floors & creepy mannequins, makes for a very eerie backdrop.  The acting is also above average for this type of film, though some will definitely argue this point.  Bunky Jones, it must be noted, is in a league all her own.  Her performance (as well as her hair) needs to be seen to be believed, as words could never do it justice.  The twist ending, though completely out of left field, also stands out as being...umm...original?  Again, you just have to see it for yourself.  The pacing could use a little work and the body count is lacking a little, but thanks to some totally stellar FX work by Screaming Mad George, the deaths that we do have are pretty sweet, especially the aforementioned elevator decapitation that looks startlingly realistic even by today's standards.  So, while I'm completely in on the joke of this movie (& the 80's in general), I gotta say, this movie really holds a special place in my heart.  Say what you will, but I think it's one of the coolest little horror movies ever, and I suggest you find out for yourself.

Final Rating :  * * * * * / * * * * * 

Losing My Blogging Virginity

OK, alright.  I have no idea how I am supposed to start one of these things.  I feel like this moment has been a lifetime in coming.  As a long-time lover of both horror flicks and writing, not to mention an avid net surfer and blog reader, I can't believe it has taken me this long to realize I can do it too.  I do know that there are several reasons why I've let all this time pass before popping my blog cherry however -- Will I be clever enough?  Will I be as entertaining as my fellow bloggers whom I follow & adore?  Will I be met with harsh judgments & negative criticism?  These are just a few of the things that have held me back, but I'm pretty much at a point in my life now where I just don't care.  Blogging is meant to be a creative outlet (of which I am in short supply these days!) and the topic of my blogs is obviously not something to be taken too seriously.  So I'm gonna go for it, & if you enjoy them, keep reading.  If you don't, take it elsewhere.  Now about those topics.  If you can't tell from the pictures (or the blood spattered backdrop) what my blogs are going to be about, then I think a CAT Scan may be in order.  I love horror movies, and more specifically, so-bad-they're-amazing horror movies.  Eighties slashers are my fave, but I certainly do not discriminate.  I've dabbled in the Italian giallo, European zombie, and seventies exploitation fare as well, and mostly to my delight.  I think the term that best describes me would be gore-hound.  If there's a decapitation or an eye gouging or a meat cleaver to the face, I'm there!  Call me sick, but I'm pretty sure if you're still reading this blog, then you too must have a little of the blood drunk in you.  So, in the interest of keeping this short & sweet, and now that I've officially gotten over that first blog hump, I think it's time I dive head first into what I came here to do!  First up, a look at my favorite 80's slasher...